MERCH STORE
Coming Soon!
We're working around the clock to bring you the finest satirical merchandise money can buy. Because nothing says "I question everything" like a branded t-shirt.
73% Complete (give or take 27%)
SNEAK PEEK: WHAT'S COMING
Trust Issues T-Shirt
100% Cotton, 0% Truth
Fake News Coffee Mug
Perfect for your morning dose of skepticism
Alternative Facts Hat
One size fits all narratives
TrustUs News Hoodie
Stay warm while staying skeptical
$TRUSTUS Diamond Hands Sticker Pack
Show your crypto commitment
Satirical News Tote Bag
Carry your groceries and your doubt
WHY WAIT FOR OUR MERCH?
Premium Quality
Made with the finest materials we could find on the internet
Fast Shipping
We'll ship as fast as we fabricate our news stories
100% Satirical
Every item comes with our guarantee of comedic integrity
Conversation Starters
Perfect for awkward family dinners and office small talk
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
When will the merch store launch?
Soon™. We're as committed to deadlines as we are to factual accuracy.
Will you ship internationally?
We'll ship anywhere our fake news reaches, which is everywhere.
What payment methods do you accept?
Cash, credit, crypto, souls, and verified Twitter checkmarks.
Do you offer bulk discounts?
Yes! Perfect for starting your own satirical news cult.
Are the products ethically sourced?
As ethical as our journalism, which is to say... we try our best.
Can I return items if I don't like them?
Returns accepted within 30 days, or until you realize we're satirical.